www.theultimaterealestatecoach.com Omar Johnson super real estate coach, mentor and trainer discusses how building rapport can be the real estate investor’s ultimate marketing tool.For real estate coaching visit http or call (917) 406-3549
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Using questions is a powerful way to build rapport with your real estate clients. Tom Sherry, a top producer with CIR Realty, share some key insights into how you can take your rapport building to the next level. Thistip has been brought to by CIR Realty (Calgary real estate brokerage). Featuring: Tom Sherry – Realtor For information on the Calgary real estate market, to search homes for sale, or to learn about the real estate training, support and systems that CIR Realty offers… please …
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If you are dealing with a claims adjuster, whether to settle on the value of your car or the value of your injuries you are a negotiator. To get the best result you need to know some things about the science of negotiation. The first principle is “build rapport.”
Recognize The Human Element
”Negotiators are people first,” say Roger Fisher and William Ury of the Harvard Negotiating Project. “A basic fact about negotiations, easy to forget in corporate and international transactions, is that you are dealing…with human beings. They have emotions, deeply held values, and different backgrounds and viewpoints….”
Clarence Darrow was one of the most famous and successful trial lawyers of the 20th Century. What was the most important part of his job? “The main work of a trial attorney is to make a jury like his client,” said Clarence.
What Darrow knew instinctively in the 1920s, persuasiveness expert Robert Cialdini has proven scientifically in the 21st Century. Cialdini, author of “Influence Science and Practice” says likability is one of the seven big factors in persuasion. “Few of us would be surprised to learn that, as a rule, we most prefer to say ‘yes’ to the requests of people we know and like,” says Cialdini.
Make yourself likable by establishing similarity, by sincere compliments, by an attitude of cooperatively working together, by familiarity and by association with good things,
1. Similarity: Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Any type of similarity builds likability says Cialdini. This can include common background or interests, age, religion, politics, mood, verbal style, body posture, name or even cigarette smoking. Use casual friendly conversation to discover what you have in common with the claims adjuster. Chit chat. Get to know her a little bit. Build some rapport.
2. Compliments: You Catch More Flies With Honey Than With Vinegar
”…we tend, as a rule, to believe praise and to like those who provide it, often when it is probably untrue,” reports Cialdini. Ask yourself, “What do I genuinely admire about this claims adjuster?” Express your admiration in a sincere fashion.
3. Cooperation: We Are In This Together
Yes, it’s true. You and the claims adjuster are working together to achieve an objective–settlement of your claim. Cooperatively working together with others increases liking, reports Cialdini. Or as Roger Dawson, world-renowned negotiation expert puts it, “avoid confrontational negotiation.” You can get confrontational if you need to, later, as a last resort, but your first option is to approach this as a team effort. “What do we have to do to get this resolved?” is your basic approach. Use the term “we” as often as possible.
4. Familiarity: It Breeds…
Sure familiarity can breed contempt when it’s friends or inlaws staying too long at your house but, as a general rule, when we get to know people we tend to like them. Build familiarity through casual friendly conversation. Time on the phone is time well invested by you and the adjuster.
5. Association: Don’t Shoot The Messenger
Whenever possible associate your self with good things. If you have friends in common mention it. Talk about the pleasant aspects of the weather. Keep your conversation upbeat and cheerful. This is not the time to complain about your spouse or your deadbeat son-in-law.
Conclusion
When dealing with a claims adjuster start with the human element. A claims adjuster is a human being and we humanoids like to work with and are influenced by people we like. So, make yourself likable with similarity, compliments, an attitude of cooperatively working together, familiarity and association with good things.
Some women attract men like magnet but for others, attracting men is a very difficult task. Although it is true that a woman’s personality is more important, you cannot ignore the fact that men are physical and the first thing that catches their attention is the physical appearance of women. To make a good first impression with men it is important to know how to be physically attractive to men. Here are some tips:
Be healthy and in good shape. If you want to be physically attractive to men, of course you need to make an effort to stay fit and healthy. If you are overweight, then you have to loose your extra weight. Being fit will not only improve your physical looks but it will also make you healthy. Self discipline is important. Avoid unhealthy and fattening foods. Eat a well balanced diet and exercise regularly. Men find healthy and fit women attractive.
Practice good hygiene. Practicing cleanliness is not only for good appearance but it is your responsibility as a woman to appear clean and fresh all the time. Your clothes and shoes must be clean. Keep your nails clean; moisturize your skin to appear clean and healthy. Your teeth must be clean all the time and use mouthwash to keep a fresh breath and avoid bad breath. Use deodorant to avoid body odor.
Good grooming. Aside from practicing good hygiene, it is also important to know how to groom yourself to be physically attractive to men. Wear the type of clothes that fits your personality. Know how to wear make up properly and maintain an easy to manage hairstyle. Good grooming doesn’t have to be expensive but you just have to know what looks good on you that fit your budget. Do not go out in public unpolished because you wouldn’t want to meet your prince charming unprepared, right?
Know how to flaunt your assets. Everyone is a unique individual and of course you have good physical features that others don’t have. It is best that you know how to use your assets to be physically attractive to men than focus on your flaws. If you have great legs, then wear shorts or skirts once in a while. If you have nice shoulders then a sleeveless blouse will look good on you. Just always remember not to appear cheap and trying hard.
Everyone wants to be attractive but of course it will be difficult to look like those adored supermodels. Being beautiful does not mean you have to be born with excellent physical features but in your own little way you can be physically attractive to men.
Attraction is an art that can be learned. With patience and right techniques, you can be the woman every guy wants. To become irresistibly attractive, visit How To Be Irresistible To Men.
To know more about dating, love and relationships visit All About Relationships.
Building rapport as a hypnotist is very important. As you improve your rapport skills you will be improving your overall skill as a hypnotist. In saying that it is important to be aware of the common mistakes made in building rapport.
The ability to have great rapport with your subjects is one of the first tools you will encounter needing as a hypnotist. Common mistakes made in this area are hard to identify as ‘mistakes’ unless you are aware of what they are.
The first most common mistake made is simply trying to be too nice. Of course you should be nice to people. But there is a point in time in certain relationships when the line must be drawn.
In order to develop a deep rapport with people you need to have full communication. This means that everything that needs to be said must be said, even if it is unpleasant. Not having full communication can disable you from sharing important thoughts, ideas and feelings.
The basic rule to follow here is to be nice but not at the expense of real communication. Say what needs to be said. If you do not the rapport will break down and a barrier will start to go up.
Most people have experienced one end or the other of trying to be too nice. One example is we are often too busy with politeness to show our true selves.
The other end of the spectrum is we encounter people who are trying too hard to be nice to us. Either way you look at it, a wall is constructed and these people remain casual acquaintances. We often have the same exact conversations with these people and never truly build a lasting rapport with them because there is no real communication happening.
The second mistake that is often made when attempting to build rapport is trying too hard. Yes this is closely related to the first mistake. When we try too hard we send signals of desperation. It shows that we are too eager to please or desperate for company.
No one likes to be surrounded with desperate people. The air of desperation often causes those around it to feel obligated or under a lot of pressure. Both of these feelings can completely shut down communication.
Trying too hard is a mistake that can lead to the “Law of Reversed Effect”. The “Law of Reversed Effect” means the harder you try, the more likely you will fail. This is because you are actually interfering with the unconscious process.
When you try too hard you are not falling into a gentle rhythm where rapport is produced you are trying to force a relationship that is not ready yet. Maintaining a sense of what needs to happen to create rapport is essential to your success.
Once you recognize what needs to happen you should let your unconscious take over and implement the steps itself. ‘Instant rapport technique’ will help with this later in another article.
The third mistake that is common in hypnosis is to want something from someone too much. This mistake is again closely related to the first two mistakes.
When we want something too much we often become pushy and overwhelming, especially so to the subconscious. Once an individual has pushed too much their counterpart will back off or become disinterested. Salesmen encounter this often.
There is a solution for this. ‘Fractionating rapport’ will help you to pace yourself in the amount of intimacy you seek. In fractionation you work on building a little rapport and then leave it alone for a while. Let the subject come and re-engage you. Each time you repeat the process you will be digging deeper and deeper into a comfort zone and building a strong rapport with the person.
This technique keep people in their comfort zones, and you are only stretching that zone a little each time you go through the motions. Soon conversation, give and take, push and pull will become a natural and familiar habit.
Being too nice to people, trying too hard and wanting something too much, all have simple solutions to help you become successful.
If you are being too nice to your subjects, stop and remember there is a point at which you must stop being nice to save the rapport.
If you are trying too hard with your subjects implement the ‘instant rapport technique’. This will allow the unconscious to send the normal rapport signals to you through your subject.
And if you want something too much, stop doing it and use fractionation. Soon over a small amount of time you will have built many steps to great rapport.
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