Build trust and rapport quickly by getting onto their wavelength fast

Liam Beale asks PPIMK www.ppimk.com lead trainer Michael Beale – what is important about rapport in NLP? Also see www.nlp-experts.org

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Building rapport over the phone may seem a little daunting at first, but it’s actually quite easy. Unlike face to face conversations, you don’t have to worry about looking awkward or doing something that might embarrass you in front of the person you’re speaking to.

When it comes to building rapport over the phone, you can concentrate all your efforts into the conversation. There are fewer distractions and therefore, you make fewer mistakes.

Here are some of the guidelines that can help you build rapport over the phone:

1) Prepare Your Introduction.

If you’re not a very chatty person or if you’re not used to building rapport over the phone, it is advisable for you to make an outline of what you’re going to say. You don’t have to follow a script; but at least an outline would help you focus on what you want to bring up in the conversation.

For example, if you’re calling someone to ask them out on a date, you might find yourself at a loss for what to say when that person picks up the phone. Now, that would just be plain embarrassing.

To avoid awkward moments like this, perhaps you can just write down:

•    Ask for (insert name)
•    Say “hi” and introduce yourself
•    Ask about tomorrow’s homework… etc.

If you’re not confident about making the call, try rehearsing what you want to say. It would help you get used to the idea of talking to the person you like.

2) Don’t Let Nervousness Overtake You.

Building rapport over the phone might make you a little more jittery than usual. Unfortunately, this can sometimes make your voice sound squeaky and make you talk a little too fast.

To keep nervousness at bay, give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that you’ve done this before and that this particular phone call is no different from the call you made to your best friend last night.

Take deep breaths and make a conscious effort to speak at a normal rate. Talking slower will also help you relax; and before you know it, you’re done with the conversation.

3) Always Say “Thank You” At The End.

Once you’re done with what you have to say, don’t forget to say “thank you” to whomever it is you’ve been talking to. Of course, if you’ve been talking to the person you like, the “thank you” bit is optional.

In all other cases, however, expressing your gratitude is very important. Remember that it’s crucial to end the conversation in a nice way. Even if the whole phone call didn’t go well, you must never bang the phone or hang up. Grit your teeth if you must, but do your best to stay polite.

Building rapport over the phone is easy when you know what mistakes to avoid and what things can make your conversation more pleasant.

In order to become an effective hypnotist, it’s vital to have good rapport skills. Rapport with subjects is key in building trust, helping them relax, and getting them to be receptive to suggestion. Because of this, it’s important to know some of the key points of building rapport – and what mistakes are commonly made when trying to build it.

It may seem surprising, but one of the first most common mistakes new hypnotists make is trying to be too nice. Of course it’s important to be kind and polite, but it’s possible to go overboard with this. In order to develop a good rapport with people, full communication is vital. This means saying everything that needs to be said, even things that may be unpleasant. So the basic fix for this mistake: be nice, but not at the expense of full communication. Say what must be said, or you will not develop good rapport.

The second common mistake is trying too hard. Trying too hard sends signals of desperation, that we are too eager to please or too desperate to make people listen to us. Desperation repels people and pressures them, and can lead to a complete shut down in communication. If you have to try too hard, it is more likely that you will fail to build a solid rapport with your clients. Once you recognize how you should communicate with someone, let your unconscious take over – your instincts – and then implement the basic steps of hypnosis. Rapport will develop naturally.

The third mistake is to want something from someone too much. We can become pushy and overbearing, and this leads to the subconscious shutting down. When the hypnotist pushes too much, the subject will react negatively by backing off or shutting down completely (think of overbearing car salesmen trying to get you to buy from them). The solution to this third mistake is to pace yourself in how you attempt to build rapport. Don’t push yourself on the subject too much; instead give them a little, then draw back and let them come to you and re-engage you at their own leisure. Every time this process is repeated, you will be digging a little deeper into their comfort zones until a strong and solid rapport is established.

If you find yourself falling into any of these mistakes, implement the ‘instant rapport technique’ which is discussed in many hypnosis manuals and is often practiced by experienced hypnotists. This way, the unconscious will not shut down, but rather will become receptive to normal rapport signals you send to the subject.